caught up in the “do”
before we are caught up in the “pray”.
1. Someone told me recently that one of my brothers holds me in high regard. That he respects me a lot. I was offended. I asked God why, and He said, just calm down and take it as they hold Me that is inside of you in high regard. There was peace.
2. I love my brother. Love isnt considered complete when both sides love each other. Love is complete even when one side just loves. Jesus still loved me and died for me while I still hated Him. Instead, it is joy that is made complete in love. I pray joy is made complete with him.
3. Theology is a useless and foolish exercise unless its Truth pulls down from my mind, into a conviction of the heart, into a revelation of the Holy Spirit that makes me love Him more through worship. I worship the God of revelation not the God of my imagination.
4. Heidi Baker gets childlike faith. Oh how I desire to be childlike in faith.
5. A life of a Christian is not marked or measured by anything else but the fruit of love.
i’ve always been afraid and confused about community, the local church, and pastor figures in my life. but it’s mainly because it never existed.
yet now, here they are. they’re here and in front of me. all of them. and now i see some what, but i am still confused. just differently confused. clearly confused.
where do you call, Jesus? what do you say, Jesus? where are you, Jesus?
I wonder about this thing we call “inner healing”, especially in terms of hurt from another, still living, still able to communicate with somehow person. I get that God often will heal us through healing prayers… but I suppose I have a hard time keeping that in line with the stories I read and I hear about. Not that that doesnt happen… just that maybe thats not the whole story.
In its own time, in its own way, theres a part of me that says that we hold a responsibility to try for greater healing - greater, meaning one that is experienced outside the lone self or the lone self with Jesus. The third party must be included in there at some point, do they not? I recognize that I must recieve the healing from above, but perhaps we actually recieve more than we ask for. Do we not also recieve more faith along with the healing? More faith that now with a spirit repaired by God, that we can then go forth and put faith in action to start bigger, witnessable healing and reconciliation between two persons?
How quickly I am satisfied with a shallow level of inner healing, when there are always consequences to all actions. Good and bad consequences, but things that beget reponsibility.
He does not heal for the sake of healing. He heals for the sake of glory, a glory that can be witnessed.
These are things I must remember. I pray that I act, even though it hurts. Help me let you to complete your stories in my life. I know You complete what You start.
My will aside. Your story alone. Make me more like You.
“Mad was the last kid I saw and he was asleep. He was 3 months old and they put him in my arms and he stayed asleep and they put him in the bath and he stayed asleep and I thought he was narcoleptic or something. Then he opened his eyes and just stared at me for the longest time and I just stared at him and I started crying and he smiled. And it wasn’t that he smiled that he liked me, it was just that I hadn’t held children in my life and I was always considered so dark and I always had so many things that made me feel like maybe I shouldn’t be somebody’s mom because certainly the world has an opinion of me and I’m not so sure about myself and am I gonna be the best mom? So the fact that this little kid seemed at ease gave me the courage to feel like I could make him happy. And so we became a family right then.” — Angelina Jolie
though You call me, still i fear
though You are faithful, still i distrust
though You speak, still i ignore
though You love, still i hate.
how wretched am I, human.
bound by time, space, language, Earth.
learning to unbelong and belong at the same time.
Child I came, child I become, child I am.
yet what hope I have; just help me believe,
We are family.
Being a vessel for God to use is a truly interesting concept. The vessel must be there, whole, so that water may be poured in, held, an then ultimately, poured out. The vessel is kind of important, but the Person pouring the Water in, the Water itself, and the thing the Water is being poured out to seems to be of more importance. Yet, the vessel is never forgotten. It is vital… just unassuming.
Lately, I’ve been receiving conviction and pictures and words, but while it has a little bit to do with me, it seems to be more meaningful for people around me. Coupled with the fact that God is really taking me on a journey in activating my spiritual gifts, it’s really truly playing out that verse where the Gifts are good for building up the Church.
I feel blessed when I obey, but lately, it’s different. It’s as if glory is escalating itself up to God, and as God receives it, He reflects it in light back to the earth. I feel like a small blade of grass, equal or lesser in height to all other blades of grass around me - yet I breathe in the fullness of that light. It’s incredible. I feel whole.
And yes, I feel positively (+) small, but I don’t feel forgotten. I feel fully seen, fully used, fully loved.
This is a really interesting new season :]
"I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful,appointing me to his service, 13 though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, 14 and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. 17 Tothe King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.”
- 1 Timothy 1:12-17
I am the worst of the sinners. Yet, His grace, mercy, love overflows still. Because that’s just who you are.
Kids always loved recess.
But I never thought it had to end, or rather, that it didn’t.
I had fun,
but I also suffered,
I had joy,
but I also pained,
I had all things Good,
but also all things Bad,
I had some things Light,
but also some things Dark.
It was always in the
recess that was the most
dangerously safe, safely dangerous place.
I hate being “that person”.
I am being “that person”.
I love being” “that person”.
Often, our life doesnt match up to the truths we proclaim.
Grow into revelations. Allow the Holy Spirit to work to make revelation, reality. Then, speak with the weight of testimony, spoken forth by the power of the witness of the Holy Spirit.